Content Harry Potter Crossovers
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It was the work of a second to put the Extendable Ear to use. Instantly, the soft murmuring behind the door sharpened into specific words, easily identifying the speakers.

"-cannot afford to have him so angry, Albus."

Tonks. Concerned? Nah, probably just worried that she'd get a bad review if she messed up her assignment.

"I'm afraid that is at least partially my fault, Nymphodora. I have been keeping a certain amount of information from Harry for some time now. "

Well there's the understatement of the year, old man. Just because you have accepted part of the responsibility freely doesn't mean that I'll forgive you any time soon.

"Will you please stop calling me that!"

"Ha! You plead with Dumbledore, but you attacked me for doing the same thing."

"Shut up, Weasley."

Maybe this conversation wasn't going to be as interesting as I'd expected.

"Can we argue about nicknames another time? Harry's two shadows are still out there in our shop."

"I believe I can put your minds to rest there, George. Kingsley was concerned enough for Harry's safety that he sent a pair of subordinates to assist our erstwhile pair as they made their way to Gringotts. The fact you spotted them will be a definite point in your favour, young N- Tonks. I'm sure Alastor will be delighted."

Bloody wonderful. Not only do I have to look over my shoulder for Voldemort and his boot-lickers, I have to keep an eye out for suspicious types who feel the need to protect me. Sent by the very organisation that gave me the option of being tried for use of underage magic or losing my soul.

Fuck that. I will never trust the Ministry as long as I live.

"I'm sure Mad-Eye will be happy. He may even reduce the number of complaints he has about your work, Tonks."

"Shut up, Weasley!"

Well, it looks like Tonks is getting pissed off. Isn't that a good omen for the rest of the day.

"Just what information did you keep from the boy, Albus?"

My blood froze. The silky tones of Severus Snape drifted through my mind, causing my heart to pound.

What the hell is he doing here? When did he get here? He must have come in after Dumbledore, though I probably wouldn't have noticed his silent entry if he had walked in behind the old fart. I was too busy ignoring him.

"I'm afraid I cannot reveal that, Severus. Not just yet, at any rate."

"So you are just going to let him put more of us in danger? Let the consequences his childish tantrums go unheeded? The boy's ego is large enough as it is, if he isn't taken down a peg or two, he will become a bigger liability than that idiot, Fudge."

"Harry's actions are more than simple adolescent rebellion, Severus."

"Bah! He's a little prima donna, whose luck at escaping unscathed has not extended to his friends. For that alone he should have his movements restricted."

Instantly, my blood went from frozen to boiling. How dare he? He was ready to have a dementor kiss Sirius before he had a chance to tell his story.

I clenched my eyes and fists, in an effort to control my anger. Losing control now would just give Snape what he desired, proof that he was right.

The image of Snape's superior smirk as he was proved that I was a danger to everyone cooled my ire quickly, leaving me in a terrifyingly calm state. I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands. Not a single tremor. The door to the washroom opened, and I didn't even start.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the little rule-breaker himself. Eavesdropping too."

I raised my head to look directly into the glittering black eyes of Severus Snape. My normal gut reaction to his presence was a slight stomach clenching nervousness, but my anger and hatred of him had quashed that quickly. "Piss off, Snape." I said calmly, removing the Extendable Ear from my own ear.

"Oh, I have no intention of going anywhere, Potter. Not until I've impressed upon your rather feeble mind the consequences of what you have done."

I gave the smirking bastard a sneer. "Well, I certainly hope you have better luck than your efforts to impress Occlumency upon my feeble mind. You were a fucking failure at that, and you had all year to do that."

I really do need to get a stopwatch. One that measures in thousandths of a second. If I'm going to see just whose face I can get to go beetroot red the quickest, I'll need some sort of timer.

"That was your failure, not mine!" spat Snape. Wow. Even his neck was red. I could see it in the mirror behind him.

"You think? It had nothing to do with your idiotic teaching methods at all?"

"I have taught Occlumency to several students, Potter. They all had no difficulty at all in developing up even rudimentary skill. Every one of them had far less incentive than you."

"Yeah, I'm just positive your methods were identical with them too. Insult, assign impossible exercises, heap abuse instead of encouragement, lather, rinse and repeat."

Well, for once the tables were turned. Many times during my time at Hogwarts, Snape has pushed me into a fuming frenzy while staying coolly unflustered himself. Not this time. I was beginning to understand just how satisfying it was to have your hated opponent off their rocker.

"My teaching methods are none of your concern, Potter! You have no-"

"You don't teach. You've never taught. You simply intimidate and frighten people into learning the material themselves. Dumbledore could put a talking textbook at the front of the class and the average OWL score would improve."

Snape's eyes narrowed as his hatred morphed into loathing. "You are pathetic, Potter. I have taught students for over a decade, and very few of them have failed."

I shrugged. "Goyle could stand in front of your students, telling them they'd have to answer to him if they failed and he'd get the same pass rate as you. You even think Neville is bad, you didn't see him in his Practical OWL. He was as calm as I've ever seen him. All his problems with potions are caused by you."

"Longbottom is an idiot, someone who couldn't brew a potion to save himself unless someone was holding his hand. Just like his father, he is a failure. Just like you, Potter. You however, blame all of your failures on others. You are never to blame for anything. Not even your pitiful Potion OWL result."

I raised my eyebrows at this. "Do you even know what I got for my Potions OWL?"

He sneered at me. "Judging from your coursework, the best you could hope for would be a 'P'."

I leaned forward, letting a slow grin form. "I got an 'E', you ignoramus. Yet another fact that points to your complete and utter failure at accurately marking those you have a bias against."

Snape's sneer slid off his face quite satisfyingly. "There is no way in hell you could have scored an 'E', Potter."

I reached into my pocket and withdrew the letter Mr. Weasley had given me in the car. "Read 'em and weep." I said, handing it to him with a flourish.

The only movement on his face as he read my scores was a slight twitching of his left eye. A pity, I had hoped he would explode with fury at being proved wrong.

With a flick of his wrist, he tossed the letter onto the floor in front of me. "Well, that just goes to show that your fame can blind even impartial testers." he said dismissively.

I clenched my teeth in anger at his tone, but I refused to succumb this time. "Or, it highlights just what a pathetic little man you are; a little man with a little bit of power, lording it over those in his care. Without Dumbledore, you are nothing, a nobody."

Snape almost exploded on the spot. "I HAVE DONE MORE TO KEEP YOU ALIVE THAN ANYONE, POTTER! YOU WILL SHOW ME THE RESPECT I DESERVE!"

I growled deep in my throat, my anger threatening to escape from my control. "You have done nothing that warrants my respect, Snape. What you are quick to claim as your altruistic actions are nothing more than your duty to the students placed in your care. Everything you claim about me, that my fame blinds me, that I take advantage of my name to avoid punishment, all these things are simply what you would do if you were in my position. If you had my fame. You wander around demanding that you be shown respect when all you have done is what you are supposed to do."

"I HAVE SAVED YOUR MISERABLE LIFE MORE TIMES THAN I CARE TO REMEMBER, YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH!"

"Bullshit. You have done everything in your power to make my life a misery, just because I bear a superficial resemblance to my father. Yes, he was a prick at fifteen. Yes, he tormented you, embarrassed you at every turn. But for all his faults, he was ten times the man that you are. He is, and always will be remembered fondly. Just who do you think will remember you? Fondly, if at all?"

"Your father was an arrogant, self-centered reprobate. You saw that when you violated my privacy." he snarled.

I stared straight into his eyes for a long moment, wondering just why he brought that up. Surely he knows that I have told no one what I saw.

Suddenly, I had an epiphany. "I violated nothing."

Snape's features twisted into a gross caricature of a smile. "Nothing?" he demanded. "You deliberately invaded my memories, the very things I wanted no one to see."

I gave his a short, sharp laugh and waved my hand dismissively in his face. "The term 'violated' implies non-consent on your part. You wanted me to see that memory."

"WHAT?" he demanded, his eyes bulging quite interestingly.

"Oh, please, don't act so surprised. You are an experienced spy. Despite what I personally think of you, you are an intelligent man. You leave your pensieve in plain sight, leave me alone in the room with it, it contains a memory that denigrates my father, and you want an excuse not to teach me anymore." I pointed my finger at him. "You expect me to believe you fucked up that badly?"

Snape looked ready to pop. "YOU BLAME ME FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS?"

I shook my head. "I accept that I did the wrong thing, but don't claim you didn't want me to see that memory."

Snape appeared to calm slightly. Not that it made much difference. "So not only are you a failure, you admit to not accepting responsibility for your actions?" Snape seethed, looking as though he was about to murder me.

The hell with that. "As opposed to your failure to teach me anything?"

Snape grabbed the front of my shirt and dragged me close, so we were nose-to-nose. "Like your father, you have been a failure all your life. You managed to kill your godfather with your idiocy. Had you actually heeded my attempts to teach you Occlumency, he would still be alive!"

He words stirred something deep within me. Flickering images of the Dursleys calling me a failure over and over again ran through my mind. My own self-recriminations echoed painfully as the guilt I'd carried round since that night in the Department of Mysteries resurfaced.

Something was different though. The memories were too specific.

Oh, you complete bastard.

With a grunt, I erected my Occlumency shields, easily forcing Snape's presence from my mind. His eyes betrayed his surprise for an instant, before I closed my own eyes and launched my own attack.

I refused to let go of the anger Snape had stirred within me.

Snape's screams echoed faintly in my ears, already filled with the roar of my pounding blood. I pushed him away, and I felt a similar sensation to when I unconsciously cast a hex at Snape during our lessons last year.

It felt good. Refreshing.

I'm not sure how long I stood there, pushing at him, but a frantic "Harry! No!" intruded on my solace.

I opened my eyes and drew in a ragged lungful of air. My lungs felt like I hadn't drawn a breath for a few minutes. My eyes swam for a moment, several pinpoints of light tracing across my vision. I blinked and the world focused again. Dumbledore was desperately shaking my shoulder. I slapped his hand away.

Lying crumpled against the far wall was Snape, his back against the mirror. Cracks in the glass shot out from where he had hit the wall, looking like lightning shooting from his body. Blood trickled from his nose and ears, his eyes open but unfocused.

A feeling of victory surged through me. I felt an almost uncontrollable urge to jump and punch my fist into the air.

Dumbledore again put his hand on my shoulder, instantly dispelling my euphoria. "Harry, in your current condition, you present a danger to those around you."

I rounded on him, sharply slapping his hand away a second time, my face as red as Snape's had been. "That's rich coming from you! You do nothing but make things dangerous for everyone!"

Dumbledore blinked in surprise, and frowned. "I'm not sure I follow your reasoning."

"How about we start with the night I got my fucking scar? Of all the blunders you've made in my lifetime, that has to be in the top three. You unilaterally decided that I be put with people that hated me for what I am."

Dumbledore seemed to relax at that. "Harry, I'm aware at how difficult your childhood was-"

"You have no fucking idea, you bastard! Sirius turned up that very night to see Hagrid carry me out of the house. As my guardian, he had the right to take me in, but you wouldn't let him. Instead, you left him with nothing. His entire world had been ripped from him in one night."

"I did what I thought was best." Dumbledore said softly.

The meekness in his voice just enraged me further. "Taking away the one thing that Sirius had to live for was for the best? That one moronic decision left nothing for him but revenge, an action that put him in hell for twelve years. It left me trapped in a fucking shoe cupboard for a decade! I never even knew what day my birthday was until I went to primary school, I had to learn it from the teacher. And you have the utter gall to stand there and claim it was for the best?" I screamed unbelievingly.

Dumbledore lowered his eyes. "As I told you last month, I had to make the decision quickly."

I just stared at him. "Who the fuck gave you the right to make it in the first place?"

Dumbledore looked up at me. "What do you mean?"

"Who were you to make a life changing decision for me? You were not my guardian. You are not related to me. Why did you just assume responsibility for me and my welfare?"

Dumbledore heaved a great sigh. "They were turbulent times, Harry. The Ministry was in disarray, several high ranking people were under suspicion of supporting Voldemort. Someone had betrayed your parents, we all assumed it had been Sirius. Putting you with your blood relatives under the protection of the blood charm was the best decision at the time."

I snarled at him, growling deep in my throat. "You coward. You fucking coward! YOU made the decision to put me there, yet you absolve yourself of the responsibility for the abuse I suffered. Despite my OWL result, I've learned enough in History of Magic to know that Voldemort's supporters all but disintegrated after he killed my parents. You put me with the Dursleys for my protection, yet once it wasn't needed, you left me there! You even knew how they treated me! My first Hogwarts letter was addressed to The Cupboard Under the Stairs!"

Dumbledore flushed with anger at my rebuke, something I have only seen him do only occasionally, but he kept his voice steady. "While I freely admit that your situation was far less than ideal, it has worked out in the long term. Had I not placed you in the care of your Aunt, or had I removed you once it was clear you were in no immediate danger, you would not have the protection now that it is necessary."

"If you hadn't made the decision in the first place, the protection wouldn't be necessary! Wormtail would have been captured! Sirius would have been free! Voldemort wouldn't have been able to return, you fucking idiot!" I shouted, spittle flying from my mouth. My face felt so hot it was probably glowing. One thing that dispassionate part of my mind noted was the trembling magical potential in the air.

"Enough, Harry!" Dumbledore almost shouted. "Getting worked up will not solve anything."

I glared at him, and I'm quite sure that had an insect flew between us it would have been incinerated. "Just stay away from me, old man." I said with deadly seriousness. "As far as I'm concerned, the governors can kick me out. I don't care anymore. Hell, I'll even write to them and tell them not to bother expelling me, that I just quit. I'll be safe just as long as I'm away from you."

"Harry, there are several people at Hogwarts working to ensure it is and will continue to be a safe environment, conducive to learning for all students. You will be safest behind the walls of the castle."

I laughed sarcastically at that. "How? In the last five years, three of the Defense teachers have tried to kill me, the last one found it gratifying to torture me all year." I waved my hand vaguely towards the still insensate Snape. "You defend this bastard who just tried to violate my mind, and who has such a hatred for me that he cannot conceive the possibility that my work may be even acceptable. He terrorizes all the non-Slytherin students, blatantly favouring his own house, and you have the utter gall to claim that you have created an environment conducive to learning?"

"Professor Snape does have issues he needs to overcome, just as you do. His skills as a master potion brewer are second to none in Europe. Despite all his negative attitudes towards you and your house, he has protected you to the best of his ability. Admirably even."

I gaped at him. "Bah! Flitwick is a master charms expert, yet he doesn't give me detention when I get insulted by a Ravenclaw. Sprout makes Neville's knowledge of plants seem pitiful, yet she doesn't mark my work as zero if a Hufflepuff destroyed my assignment. McGonagall didn't take points away from me during my first lesson for not knowing anything, claiming that it proved that fame wasn't everything. Having great skill sure as hell doesn't automatically make you a good teacher."

Dumbledore's expression turned stern. "It is not easy to teach when the student does not follow instructions, Harry. Even the greatest teacher would have difficulty in imparting knowledge and skills onto an unwilling recipient."

I turned and looked down on the floor for my discarded results. Scooping them up, I slapped the sheet of parchment on Dumbledore's chest, though his long bead cushioned the blow somewhat. "Unwilling? Except for the exam Voldemort intruded upon, this proves that I have been anything but unwilling to learn, you bastard. I may not have been as dedicated to practicing Occlumency during the year as I have been over the holidays, but I must have missed that safe, conducive to learning environment you've created at Hogwarts last year, since I spent most evenings getting tortured."

Dumbledore sighed. "I realise that the number of detentions you had with Dolores was exorbitant, and she did not go out of her way to make it easy on you, but calling writing lines 'torture' is an exaggeration I had not thought you capable of."

I bared my teeth without smiling. "Cutting the words 'I will not tell lies' into the back of my hand a thousand times a night isn't torture?" I snarled through clenched teeth.

Oh, I guess ignorance really is bliss. The old man looked rather taken aback. "Cutting?"

"Yes, 'cutting' you idiot. With that damned quill of hers that cuts the words you write into the back of your hand."

Dumbledore paled quickly. A gruff voice intruded on our argument. "Did it write in your own blood?" snapped Moody.

The grizzled ex-auror stepped out from the shadows in the doorway. So much for constant vigilance, the man could have taken me by surprise in an instant. "Yes." I replied simply.

Moody wheeled around to face Dumbledore. "You let her into Hogwarts with a Blood Quill?" he almost screamed.

Dumbledore actually had the grace to look ashamed, and not a little flustered. "I fear I must apologize. Harry, I had no idea. Alastor, I, er-"

"You what?" Moody demanded, stepping right up to Dumbledore, forcing the headmaster to take a few steps backwards. "The boy is right, you've all failed him. You let that monster into a school full of children with an device that had been deemed a torture implement and didn't even know. Albus, it is your damned job to know!" Moody punctuated his point by jabbing a gnarled finger into Dumbledore's chest with each shouted syllable. "Who knows how many other people she used it on?"

"She made Lee Jordan use it once that I know of." I inserted calmly.

Moody didn't even break his stride. "That is some school you've got going there, Albus. When the kids are tortured, they don't come forward for help. Are you so aloof that you are unapproachable to them?"

Dumbledore just looked blankly from Moody to me, a look of abject shame on his face. "I- I don't know what to say."

Moody growled at him. "Albus, you've been a shining example of what a wizard should be in the past, but you've messed up royally this time. You are too close; your objectivity has been compromised."

"Um, should I even ask?"

Two heads and one blue eye turned to the door, to see Tonks looking around the room, Fred and George behind her on either side. I glanced around at the room myself, and noted that she had the right to be confused.

A stunned and bleeding Snape still lay slumped against a shattered wall mirror, a clearly defensive Dumbledore was all but backed up against the opposite wall, with a furious Moody jabbing a finger down to the second joint into Dumbledore's chest. Not exactly a Kodak moment.

"What do you want?" I asked shortly.

"I think Moody was right, you have blown off a buttock." she grinned at me.

I sighed and shook my head at her irrepressible humour, and gave Dumbledore one last glare before walking over to her and out of the partially destroyed washroom. Fred and George had just noticed Snape as I exited. I had to duck as two cameras zoomed towards them in response to their summons. Tonks gently took my hand and walked me away from the rather full washroom where two elderly wizards were engaged in a quiet but heated argument and two young wizards were gleefully taking photo after photo at different angles of the unconscious Snape.

"I bet those pictures will be worth a fortune at Hogwarts come September." Tonks said , the grin on her face looking like it was going to stay there for a while.

A bubble of laughter burst from my stomach, catching me unaware. "In Gryffindor Tower at least." I replied, a smile on my face at the thought. Seeing Dumbledore chastised was a real spirit lifter. Getting all that off my chest by yelling at both Snape and Dumbledore was uniquely satisfying. Having a female hand in mine was rather pleasant. Soothing in fact. If it wasn't for the fact that my mental shields were still up, I'd have believed I was being manipulated into calming down.

Tonks sat down on one of the couches along the wall, and pulled me down into the soft leather next to her. "We, ah, heard what you said to Severus."

I raised an eyebrow. "Fred and George had enough Extendable Ears for everyone then?" I asked rhetorically.

Tonks rolled her eyes and gave a giggle. "Moody said you'd figure it out. Snape didn't believe him."

"When did he arrive?"

"Moody or Snape? Well, Snape came in first, he followed Dumbledore in. Moody got here with them, but he stayed outside and checked out the pair Kingsley sent after us. Then he came in just in time to see you slam the door. Snape wanted to go after you straight away, but Dumbledore stopped him."

I nodded. "I missed seeing Snape when he came in. Moody will be pissed."

"Don't worry about it, Pup. Mad-Eye knows you are under a fair bit of stress at the moment, and even with the leg, he can sneak up on almost anyone if he wants to."

"Why do you call me that?"

Tonks gave me a sad smile. "Sirius used to call you that, you know. In the Order meetings. He was so very proud of you and just wouldn't stop talking about you. I actually thought I knew all about you before we even met, just from what he told me in the weeks before we took you to HQ. I must admit, a lot of what he said was exaggerated though, some of it was even made up completely."

"Like what?"

"He told me you fought off a basilisk by yourself, and got bitten in the process."

I felt a heat flood my face. "My second year. But it wasn't by myself." I said softly.

Tonks tilted her head towards me. "Excuse me?"

I nodded. "Fawkes helped. He blinded the basilisk first, so it couldn't petrify me."

As much as I hate talking about those terrifying times of my life, I must admit that it is gratifying when someone gives you an expression that indicates they have just heard something they originally thought was fiction.

"I'm sorry. You- You mean it's true? You actually killed a basilisk?"

I nodded again, a small smile on my face. Her expression was just indescribable. "I jabbed a sword into its brain through the roof of its mouth. That's when it bit me." Her expression turned from incredulous to disbelief. "Fawkes healed me with his tears less than a minute after I got bitten, that's why I'm still alive." I clarified.

"Harry!"

Both Tonks and I looked up. One of the twins was rushing towards us, his grin so wide I could almost see his wisdom teeth. "You beat up Snape! You beat him up! Wow! Thank you! These photos will be worth a fortune."

"Be sure to put one on a Christmas card and send it to Snape." I said, getting to my feet. That grin was contagious though, both Tonks and I started chuckling ourselves."

The washroom door slammed, and all three of us jumped slightly at the unexpected noise. Moody stomped over to us, his leg making threatening crashes with each step. When this guy stamps his feet, the world would do well to take notice.

"Potter, go about your business, but be at your relative's place by nightfall. That gives you less than two hours. Go!"

"Why?" I retorted.

"Because I said so, that's why." he snapped. "Unlike Dumbledore or Tonks here, I won't hesitate to stun you and drag your sorry arse where ever it needs to be if you even try to act like you have been."

I swallowed nervously. "You would, wouldn't you." As much as I've improved over the years, I think I'd rather face Bellatrix wandless than this man if he was angry.

The grizzled wizard cracked a rather evil grin at me. "I've done it before, Laddie, to better wizards than you. Now get your arse in gear. I'll meet you there in two hours. And have your gear packed and ready to go."

I blinked several times in confusion. "Why?"

His expression made me quickly clarify my question. "I mean, why are you meeting me at Privet Drive?"

The magical blue eye peered straight at me. "Because there is someone I'd like you to meet." he said with finality.

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