By Draco664
Reviews
Jenifer Winterbine posted a comment on Tuesday 22nd December 2009 10:25am
Here:
'...only took a few hours to gather enough evidence to organise a raid, and only two days to organise that raid. In a massive yet discrete operation, hundreds of Ministry officials deployed themselves to Buckingham Palace, and launched an assault on the headquarters of the Dark Lord.'
Where you have 'discrete' I think the correct word is 'discreet', - they do not mean the same thing.
noreenklose posted a comment on Friday 22nd May 2009 7:33pm
Excellent story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm going to read the sequel next. Thank you for writing, and please continue writing your remarkable stories.
KUTGW,
Noreen
bhoy_wizard posted a comment on Monday 4th May 2009 2:33pm
This is the first time I've came across this story. Although it's old and I almost cringed from the 'she phoned him'
bit, it was actually a really good start. And I'm guessing when this was first penned it wasn't a cliche at all, maybe even the first instance I dare say? Really I did wonder where people got that from, always seemed random to me! Anyway I came across a forum which said this was one of the best HP/CC fanfics out there and well from this start I hope it's right!
Lerris Smith posted a comment on Saturday 18th April 2009 9:24pm
I suppose the beginning was slightly annoying, because it is generally not fun to see the hero of the story in his worst nightmare, apparently with the cooperation of his friends. The fact that they did not try harder to find a way he could have been innocent is disappointing, particularly Dumbledore, since he was old enough and intelligent enough to think of other possibilities, and he, in particularly needed Harry to defeat Voldemort.
As time progressed, there was the tendancy to skim a bit to get the entire story caught up to real time so what happened was uncovered. Past that point it went from just wanting to know what happened to really being quite compelling.
Cho's actions before the cliff seemed a little forced. I think it may have been a mistake to not flesh out her motivations a little better. They were believable, but more back story there might have helped.
Additionally, Dumbledore trying to ambush Harry seemed unreasonable. It would be different in Harry was convicted of killing a true innocent, instead of a junior death eater wannabe. No, the most logical plan there would have been to furnish Sirius with the trial records and see what happened.
Additionally, the idea of Harry being immune to the truth serum seemed one of the too convienent things. It would have then made sense to force everyone else to take the serum. Now maybe Dumbledore couldn't pull off such a thing, but it still is a bit disappointing that his friends didn't try harder.
Finally the ambush at the end with Harry seemed to be pushing bounds of reasonableness, given that he had not finished his work, and he was surprised. Still, the use of non magical compounds and such was a nice twist.
Overall the story was quite good. Thanks for writing and posting it.
Tremnks posted a comment on Sunday 14th September 2008 4:48am
I lost this story once and didn't find it for quite some time. I am so happy that i found it now, it's wonderful.
LKK posted a comment on Saturday 30th August 2008 9:41pm
Nice story.
hiraishin posted a comment on Wednesday 6th August 2008 5:16pm
Man, this last scene... ROTFL
But interesting battle, using potions and muggle traps. That's certainly not used very often, if used at all. Very creative :)
Ariel Schnee posted a comment on Thursday 24th July 2008 9:05pm
WOOT! YEAH! MOREE!
dimriver posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd July 2008 2:42pm
Good story
dakinumas posted a comment on Monday 23rd June 2008 2:27am
You know it was Hermione that treat Harry's life like a joke and laughing matter to begin with. Dubbing his death escaping a stupid name. Joking about "DUMPING" a baby on the hateful muggle family. Demanding Answers about his animagus ability first and foremost because it was academic aspects no doubt. Calling him little bastard.
To have friends like that , better not to have at all.
What a bunch of useless bitches.
No one is that forgiving.
echo amos posted a comment on Tuesday 29th April 2008 3:46pm
i loved your story ur very talented
echo amos posted a comment on Tuesday 29th April 2008 2:40am
nice
Prongs1977 posted a comment on Wednesday 16th April 2008 5:35pm
So, is there a continuation of this?
AlphaPhi posted a comment on Saturday 29th March 2008 8:44pm
Harry shook his head. "They shouldn't be now. I suggested using poly-juice potion. Pluck a hair from the remains and drink the potion. You should be identifiable then."
If this was true, when Barty Crouch Jr. took Polyjuice to replace Mad-Eye Moody in OOTP, he would not have his scars or miss the eye or the leg.
Aelita posted a comment on Friday 28th March 2008 5:53am
I still love it
mathiasgranger posted a comment on Tuesday 18th March 2008 6:24am
Right...one kiss from Cho erased all of his time in Azkaban....bit of a stretch there I imagine.
~Matt
Genericrandom posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd January 2008 12:45am
An excellent story, and a very well done pairing between Harry and Cho. A relationship that is really rather difficult to write, since she got only the barest amount of screen time in the books. Certainly more than a few, but not nearly enough. Especially to easily write a magnificent story. More power to this accomplishment.
Furthermore, this story is fairly unique in the fact that it's complete. While I did notice you wrote a sequel (which you also completed!) it's always nice to be able to sit down, read a story, and then read the end. A disturbingly rare thing in the fan fiction world.
Although it was quite clear, I think from the beginning that Harry and Cho would end up together, you did a marvelous job dealing with not only the Wizarding World's betrayal of Harry, but also with a lot of the character interaction. It was a very thrilling and often enthralling ride.
A very well done job, and certainly of the caliber I expect from the wonderful authors of this site. I'll admit that with a pen-name like 'Draco664' I had certain... preconceptions, but clearly, you know what you're doing.
Great story.
ily.the.cat posted a comment on Monday 10th December 2007 2:48pm
wow this story is great
ohnuu posted a comment on Tuesday 4th September 2007 7:42am
Really, really great story. Completely distracted me from the work I intended to do today :P . A brilliant piece of literature. Your plot is excellent. While I can comfortably create nice scenes, you have achieved an entire plot sequence of epic proportions which is original, flows smoothly and irresistible. What I truly enjoyed was the constant flashbacks in the first few chapters which allowed the story to have simultaneous action at a time where most stories picked up slowly.
Your characterisation is neat. The change in attitude towards Harry was neither too drastic nor too draggy. You brought out Harry's Slytherin side, as well as Cho's non-weepy persona. One setback was the downplaying of many characters, the action mostly happening between Harry, Voldy, Dumbledore, Sirius and Cho. Not so bad, since you still mixed the scenes well.
Your use of different PoVs was also good, preventing the story from being one-sided or boring according to how much action the particular character is having.
Small, often unnoticed stuff also contributed greatly to your style. Dialogue, sentence structure, paragraphing, etc, all made the story seem vibrant, something only those truly good in literature can apply.
All in all, tremendous. Not a public bestseller, but an oscar-winner in the world of fanfics.
JesiKiKage posted a comment on Thursday 24th December 2009 7:41pm