Tildessmoo posted a comment on Wednesday 12th April 2006 6:13am

I recall your description of Apprentice Potter warning of "Angry! Harry." Perhaps this chapter ought to get an Angry! Snape warning? Casting Cruicio on Harry in front of both Dumbledore and McGonagall? I get the feeling that even Dumbledore's blind idealism can't save him from that. Certainly quite a treat to have him go flying sans-balai twice in one chapter! Well worth the wait, and I wish you well in those endeavors that caused the wait, also. Of course, I'm not being entirely altruistic, as that would mean the next chapter comes out all the sooner!

Prince Charon posted a comment on Wednesday 12th April 2006 5:37am

Very, very interesting.

Snape just has no common sense, has he? I wonder if Harry is right about that Imperious.

Thank you for the update.

More soon, please.

naosei posted a comment on Wednesday 12th April 2006 5:34am

Nice story, thnx for the good work :)

Really apreciattes. Keep the good work.

rmcclain124 posted a comment on Wednesday 12th April 2006 4:51am

Glad to have you back. Now...

HOLY SCHIT! That was excellent! Loved the whole Snape sequence. You also have a knack for writing effective and believably realistic dialogue with the intended emotions for each of your characters' personalities. (For instance, what young person in their late teens says 'I shall not' in an everyday conversation? Hmm?)

As much as the M/F/F interaction amuses me, your explanation of how Harry came to be taught the nature of human biology would definitely be an interesting spin-off story. How knows, I may attempt something along those lines if I could ever find enough time to do it properly.

Again, glad to have you back. You have a penchant and talent for both dialogue and action sequences that I have sorely missed.

Post again soon. -- PK Fan

brad posted a comment on Wednesday 12th April 2006 4:42am

Damn, I enjoyed this. I had a big grin on my face reading this chapter and I've been grinning and thinking about what I read ever since. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy your writing and your Apprentice/Journeyman Harry.

I said it in your group when you released the partial draft but I'll say it again ... maybe I'm reading too much into just a couple of sentences but I *really* liked the disclosure here about how Hermione had to tell Harry about sex back when he was thirteen and a half years old. I just find that very moving. Maybe I'm just simple minded. But the reason that HP fan fiction works so marvellously sometimes is because it's based on all that canon, it has all that backstory going for it, and even the high-quality fanfics out there too that extend that canon and add momentum. So perhaps it's not so surprising that, with just a sentence like that in the here-and-now of your story, you can so successfully - for me, anyway - take me back to their third year, mine the previous history between them, and make the whole HP thing for me just that much richer and your story that much deeper. Hermione's taking Harry aside and helping him like that just *fits*, and I love her for it.

And while I'm around this topic ... I think on your group someone mentioned how Hermione and Blaise were still 'competitors', and you stated that there would be a 'winner' by the end of the story - i.e. Harry settling on just one of the girls. I hope it's Hermione. I like your Blaise - I enjoyed her advances on Harry, their initial meeting and cuddles, and appreciate that he's currently with them both because he loves them both equally. But, compared to Blaise, I find Hermione to have so many more dimensions to her character and her involvement with Harry ... all their Hogwarts adventures, 7+ years of enduring support and friendship, and even her love for him is multi-faceted, with Harry's intellectual prowess turning her on a distinct twist on top of the regular boy/girl attraction. Glad you've shown her here as the 'intellectual' from canon, but also a raging sex-monster re the make-up sex and also 'mercurial' when Harry's theorising, plus the regular Hermione, she of the super-duper-hugs. I hope Hermione lasts the distance. With Harry's thoughts here on how devastated he would be on losing one of them I'm worried you're planning evil things for one of the girls in the future plot of this story.

I really enjoy your 'thinking Harry' in this story, he's pretty much unique in my reading. There's a few 'manipulative Dumbledore' tales around, and I've enountered one or two which *prove* how Snape is a bastard by tying together all the facts, but nothing with this particular slant nor with this sort of 'angry Harry'. I greatly admired Harry's dialogue with Dumbledore about Snape; whereas with prior chapters I thought Harry was going overboard a bit, pre-empting fights, overreacting, this time I thought he made perfect sense. And his insight about an Imperius being even more difficult to throw off if it fits in with the victim's own desires was *excellent*; I can't wait to see what Albus finds out. For me this story had a great mix - clever stuff, things to think about, and some tidbits that tickled my H/Hr romantic side.

Amazed that Snape was actually going to cast an Unforgivable. Almost a pity that Harry didn't let him actually cast the Cruciatius, that would have been a one-way ticket to Azkaban. But I suspect Snape's going to be popping up again in this story ...

Thanks for the chapter!

hedwig_edwiges posted a comment on Wednesday 12th April 2006 4:17am

At this moment I'm not sure if it's entertaining or tiring to have a "typical" Potter day. Well, it's entertaining for me and for the readers, at least.
And the problem with Dumbledore probably it's because of his age. He can't think new things anymore. He just count with what he already knows. But the Imperius it's an interesting idea.
I hope that whatever else you're doing now will permit you to update more.

Dave Harris posted a comment on Wednesday 12th April 2006 1:11am

Damn, you had to end it there?

Superb fun, this chapter, and well worth the wait.

Is Snape's use of the Imperius on Dumbledore just a red herring? The latter is clearly shaken enough by the possibility that he's prepared to have it checked, which is more than I'd expected (I'd expected him to simply refuse point blank that it was even possible). He's shown he's prepared to use Unforgivables on Harry, so...

I liked Hermione's reaction to Harry disappearing and not letting her know where he was (and Zab's devotion to researching something that intrigues him, despite Harry's impatience with it!)

Fasor posted a comment on Wednesday 12th April 2006 12:54am

yay :)

Luke posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 11:57pm

Aww, you didn't kill Snape *g*

Great story so far!!! :)

Adam posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 11:51pm

Oh yeah what fun, Snape just doesnt know when to quit does he lol. I can see that the relationship between Harry and Dumbledore, is somewhat non existant at the moment. I do wonder when he will learn.

glorfy posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 11:18pm

Damn, i loved that
keep up the excellent work
especially the ending line *g*

Life's a Dance posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 10:43pm

Thank you very much for that exceedingly entertaining installment to your story. I always love it when Harry beats the crap out of Snape. Looking forward to a new chapter very soon.

The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 9:52pm

I guess you could say, at the end, that Snape "spiraled out of control". :)

Khadon posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 9:46pm

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say your Harry is on of my favourites from any fic I've read. This is really the only first person perpective fic I've liked and you just keep coming up with these one-liners of his that make me howl in laughter.

"Of course, that could simply be the fact that I’ve been beating up on Snape, but I think the point remains."

Come on, that's hilarious. Keep up the good work and writing. I wish your chapters came up more often but they're good enough that I'm willing to be patient (something I'm not willing to do for many fics) ;)

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 8:56pm

Hmm, wonder if Dumbles will get the message this time? A good chapter with some interesting developments. I do hope that Dumbles buys a clue and leaves Snape out of further dealings; I'm not sure the Potions Master could survive too much more of Harry's "negative feedback".

Alex00 posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 8:41pm

Awsome chapter.

ZanyMuggle posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 8:15pm

This was the single most satisfying passage of fiction containing Severus Snape that I have ever read. Thank you.

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 8:13pm

Glad to see an update. Thought this had been abandoned.

Always a pleasure to read about Snape getting abused. More please. Excellent idea abou the Imperious.

Looking forward to the next Horcrux.

aemon_targaryen posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 7:50pm

An update! Hooray!

I love me some Snape-bashing. The idea of "pushing" is interesting; it seems like it could be a precursor to more abilities with raw magic. I like the idea of Harry's utter naivite about sex, and Hermione having to teach him. I like McG-it's too bad that she's a background character most of the time. Can't wait to read more.

Hilary McKenna posted a comment on Tuesday 11th April 2006 7:45pm

LOL! I think every student has fantasized about defenestrating or tossing a particularly evil teacher down a staircase (preferably a long one). I love this story and I loved this chapter. Keep up the good work and please write more soon!